Landed in Bangalore in the morning
with lots of research to do.
First meal was from Andhra Pradesh
and was on a banana leaf too.
The hostel that we stayed at
was full of foreign folk
so we moved in the Barons Inn
the dead rat was not a joke.
Searched near and far for Hardrock
but found UBCity instead
danced with backpacks at the ice bar
techno beating in our head.
Diarria accompanied to Hyderabad
where we saw the Golconda Fort
Gates at Golcanda Fort
Nimi cliped nails at the Catholic home
while on her laptop Rachel held court.
Took over every corner
of Teja’s family’s place
drove round in an ac car
escaping the rat race.
There were neon chicks and embassy peeps
no day trips did we take
Eating in a cave/safari themed restaurant in Hyderabad.
instead we sampled restaurants,
we were Hyderabadi flakes.
Plane-ed it down to Chennai
on St.Valentine’s special day
nimi ate a pizza in bed
while S&R went out to play.
The auto drivers were all douchbags
but we got a free ride to the beach,
saw a crazy white lady with a dog
many sites we could not reach.
For off we went on to Vellore
where our spirits were revived
by Amma’s healing powers
without puja we survived.
Escaped to Pondicherry,
where the great seafood binge began
saw Auroville’s golden golf ball
biked to pizza napoletan.
We didn’t see the crystal
but felt its sacred vibe,
inspired us to rent some scooters
and go north for a ride.
Fought with the great ASI
to see a temple on the shore
ate shrivelled peanuts at the Clive bar
Mahabalipuram we did endure.
Overnight we bused to Madurai
and on to Nagercoil
a third bus to the southern tip
reaching Kanyakumari was a toil.
And finally to Kerala
where Kollam was deserted
the hotel was a ghost-town
our disappointment was asserted.
Our first backwater excursion
involved a man in a red vinyl hat
he said that no Monroean drank
yet along the banks glass bottles sat.
From canoe onto a cruise ship,
eight hours to Alleppey.
Made friends with French Tamilians
Ukrainians found yoga, “not funn-y.”
On the rainy trip to Kumarakom
a full bladder got Rachel humming
jack fruit seeds and taco bell sauce
made for a dinner that was something.
Next day we spent the morning
arranging a three hour boat ride
but it was worth for the lotus marriage chain
and the singing cab driver sad to leave our side.
Cochin won the charming prize
though De Gama’s plaque was hard to unravel
to morning service at the synagogue
on bicycles we did travel.
Oiled from ayurveda
we got onto the bus
to celebrate Nimi’s special news
old monk and fart sounds were a must.
And back we were in Bangalore
to the ratty Barons Inn
the days has started melding
into one long lasting din.
Trains, scooters and ten buses later
twelve cities we have conquered.
S&R ate animals in every town and form
while dosas Nimi sampled.
Our lovely Footprint guidebook
was a giant scam.
It steered us wrong so many times,
we could have eaten better out of cans.
But all in all the southern states
taught us deep humility
for odour caused by sweaty pits
can’t be avoided in humidity.
Rachel whined about having work,
and Nimi refused to sit in the middle.
Shalabh’s snores kept us up all night
But we solved this epic southern riddle.
An auspicious dip in the water at Kanyakumari